Jesus teaches on marriage, divorce, and celibacy

Jesus is now on the way to Jerusalem, ultimately ending in His death and resurrection

1) When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2) Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

The Pharisees try to trap Jesus

3) Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

Divorce was a controversial topic in Jesus' day, with two main schools of thought, centered on two of its most famous proponents: Hillel (lax and popular) and Shammai (strict and unpopular).

The debate centers around the word for just any reason; each school of thought understood that the Mosaic law gave permission for divorce in Deuteronomy 24:1: When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house - the question is, what constitutes uncleanness? The school of Hillel understood that uncleanness meant sexual immorality, and said that was the only valid reason for divorce; the school of Shammai understood uncleanness to mean any sort of discretion, even to the point of burning the breakfast being valid grounds for divorce.

The Pharisees are trying to get Jesus to speak against Moses or against popular thought; they hope they have caught Him on the horns of a dilemma.

Jesus' first answer to the Pharisees: get back to marriage

4) "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5) and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? 6) So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
 

The Pharisees wanted to talk about divorce, but Jesus will talk about marriage - a wise approach for anyone interested in keeping a marriage together. Divorce cannot be seen as an option when things are hard; marriage is like a mirror; it reflects what we put into it.

Jesus first asserts God's "ownership" over marriage; it is God's institution, not man's, so His rules apply.

Next, Jesus reminds the Pharisees that marriage is spiritually binding before God; it is not merely a social contract, and as God has joined, He will keep together.

By bringing the issue back to the foundation of marriage, Jesus makes it plain that couples must forsake their singleness, and come together in a one flesh relationship that is both a fact (they are) and a goal (shall become).

The Mosaic controversy: Jesus' second answer

7) "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8) Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9) I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

The Pharisees wrongly think that God commanded divorce where there was uncleanness (a Rabbinic saying went: "If a man has a bad wife, it is a religious duty to divorce her"), but Jesus notes the difference between command and permit - God never commands divorce, but He does permit it.

Jesus interprets the meaning of the word uncleanness in the Mosaic law: divorce (and the freedom to remarry) was only permitted in the case of sexual immorality. The Greek word for sexual immorality is porneia; it is a broad word, covering a wide span of sexual impropriety. One may be guilty of porneia without actually having consummated an act of adultery. To this permission for divorce, Paul adds the case of abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15). Note that incompatibility, not loving each other anymore, brutality, and misery are not grounds for divorce, though they may be proper grounds for a separation and consequent "celibacy within marriage".

Divorce is allowed (not commanded) when sexual immorality has been committed because of the hardness of your hearts; this refers both to the hardness of the offending party (in the cruelty of their unfaithfulness to their spouse), and the hardness of the offended party (being unable to perfectly forgive and restore a damaged relationship).

The reason why a person who does not have a legitimate divorce commits adultery upon remarrying (as well as their new spouse) is because they are not divorced in the eyes of God; since their old marriage is still valid, they are actually guilty of bigamy and adultery. We must come to grips with the fact that marriage, as a promise made to God, our spouse and the world, is a binding promise, and cannot be broken at our own discretion.

The disciples ask a good question: if marriage is so binding, is celibacy better?

10) The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11) Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12) For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

The disciples understood Jesus' teaching on marriage and divorce clearly; perhaps it is not a commitment to be entered into quickly or lightly.

Jesus recognizes that celibacy is good for some, for He who is able to accept it (such as Paul, 1 Corinthians 7:7-9).

Eunuch was used figuratively for those who voluntarily abstain for marriage; it didn't necessarily mean a biological unity.

Jesus blesses little children

13) Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.
14) Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." 15) When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.

Parents should still bring their children to Jesus; He wants to bless them and welcome them into the kingdom of heaven.

This also shows us something remarkable able Jesus' character; He was the kind of man that children like.

Jesus teaches on riches and following Him

A brings the most important question one can ask

16) Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"
17) "Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."

This man, like all men by nature, has an orientation towards a works-righteousness; he asks what good thing I shall do.

Jesus is not denying His own goodness; instead, He is asking the man, "Do you know what you are saying when you call Me good?"

Jesus' answer to the man's question is straightforward: if you want to gain eternal life by your doing, you must keep the commandments - all of them, and in the fullest sense.

The purpose of the Law is to show that we cannot earn our way to heaven.

Jesus tests him by the second table of the law

18) "Which ones?" the man inquired.
19) Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.' "
20) "All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?"

Jesus brings before him the commandments which primarily deal with a man's relation to man; the questioner claims that he has kept all of these laws from His youth.

It is fair to ask if this man really had kept these commandments; it is likely that he actually did keep them in a way that made him righteous in the eyes of men (in the sense that Paul could say concerning the righteousness which is in the law, blameless in Philippians 3:6), but not in the full and perfect sense in which Jesus spoke of in the Sermon on the Mount. We can also know that this man had not perfectly kept the law, because he still knew that he lacked in his life (What do I still lack?).

Mark 10:21 tells us that Jesus loved him in reply; Jesus has compassion on the man so misguided as to think that he really could justify himself before God.

Jesus tests him by the first table of the law

21) Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me."
22) When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
 

The call to forsake everything and follow Jesus is a call to put God first in all things; it is full obedience to the first table of the law, which dealt with a man's relation to God.

In this, the wealthy questioner fails utterly; for money is his god; he is guilty of idolatry, and this is why Jesus, knowing the man's heart, asked him to renounce his possessions.

Men will be tested by both tables of the law; it isn't enough to do well by our fellow man and be decent folk; we must do right by God, and give Him the glory and honor He deserves.

Riches are an obstacle to the kingdom

23) Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24) Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
25) When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"
26) Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
 

We should not diminish the strength of Jesus words, nor fail to see their application in our own affluent society (who among us would not be considered richer than this rich young ruler?).

Riches are a snare because they tend to make us satisfied with this life, instead of longing for the age to come; as well, often riches must be acquired at the expense of acquiring God.

The exceeding amazement of the disciples is based on the assumption that riches are always a sign of God's blessing and favor.

However, God's grace is sufficient to save the rich man; we have the examples of people like Zaccheus, Joseph of Armithea, and Barnabas.

Is it possible to be saved if you are rich? Yes, because of verse 26.

See 1 Timothy 6:10. Money is not the root of all evil, the LOVE of money is! (Money is only a unit of measure.) Money can be a blessing (1 Tim 6:17-19).

Peter's blunt question: what do we get for following You?

27) Peter answered him, "We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?"
28) Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29) And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30) But many who are first will be last and many who are last will be first.

In contrast to the rich young ruler, the disciples have left all to follow Jesus; what will be their reward? Jesus tells of special honor for the disciples; they will have a special place in judgment, probably in the sense of administration in the millennial Kingdom.

As well, the apostles had the honor of helping to provide a singular foundation for the church (Ephesians 2:20), and have a special tribute in the New Jerusalem (Revelation 20:14).

But there will be universal honor for all who sacrifice for Jesus' sake; what ever has been given up for Him will be returned to us a hundred times over - in addition to everlasting life. Hundredfold is obviously not literal; otherwise, Jesus would be promising to us a hundred mothers and a hundred wives.

Those who have faithfully focused on Jesus will be startled by the impact that their lives have had on others, while those keeping score may be in for some unpleasant surprises.

The principle stands: God will be a debtor to no man; it is impossible for us to out-give God.

Chapter 20

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